TRUST AND HONESTY

Trust makes a relationship stable

That makes the bonding real

Lose trust and it kills you

No one will ever believe in you.

Learning to trust is one of life’s most difficult tasks

Because the entire world is made of faith, trust and pixie dusts

I’m disappointed to know this from others but not from you

I’m not upset but from now on I can’t believe you.

Trust is one of the most important key in life

Losing trust is just like being stab with a knife

Trust makes the world go round

And make smiles in the faces that were frown

Never lose faith and trust

Never make your heart fill with rust

It seems that everything is said and done

In the end, you have to choose whether or not to trust someone

Honesty is important in a relationship

Without honesty, everything will be like shit

Lie is not the key to escape

Never lie because eventually it will tear your cape

An honest truth is full of pain

But what can a simple lie gain

Lie will catch you up eventually

Just like what you did recently

I’m not upset because honesty comes from you and not me

I’m just wondering until when it will be

Maybe you’re afraid to tell me and just lie

Just be honest my dear or the feeling will die

I never blame people without honesty

That is their rights to be honest and definitely not me

One piece of advice is just please stop lying

Because I have feelings like a normal human being

Lie will catch you up eventually

Life will be shit without honesty

When you know people lie to you, your heart will burn

Trust is not given, it is earned.

-M.S-

WHEN YOU CAME...

When you came…

It feels something that isn't the same
Cover my feelings and hide my shame
To put it a secret from my fame
Not to make jokes that is lame.

When you came…
Something odd and the feeling is new
Because people that makes me feel like this is a few
I can’t describe this “thing” to you
Hope you feel the same too.

When you came…
Maybe this is my turning point of life.
Because for every bee always change its hive
Sometimes I blushed and just want to dive
Something to hold through and survive.

When you came…
I always have this feeling of being lonely
Suddenly you came and accompany me recently
I feel that I’m going to be happy
Nevertheless, to tell the story that is too early.

When you came…
You enter my life with a knock on the door
Too many mutual common things that are accounted for
Please medicate my heart that is sore
Make me alive and let me roar.

When you came…
You sweep my heart that is full with dust
You lubricate my heart that is full with rust
Yes I like you but the tale is too fast
I’m scared and doesn't know when will it lasts.

When you came…
In the sea there’s a lot of fish
The fish I’m looking is only one, I wish
2 months apart and mature but sometimes childish
Can’t forget when your sweet face turns reddish.

When you came…
When night falls you always glow
Be strong my dear and never feel low
Some quotes to help you I would show
Just chill, relax and follow the flow.

-M.S-

HOPE OR FAITH

I know I've been alone

You've been gone for far too long

After all that we've been through

I miss you and I know you miss me too.

I will never let it show

The pain I've grown to know

Because with all these things we do

It don’t matter when I’m coming back to you

Your words have kept me warm

It helped me through the storm

I've waited so long just to come and hold you

Because my heart is always with you

I pray that hope won’t die

I can’t live another day in disguise

These feelings can’t be right

Lend me your courage and fight for us tonight

Nobody tells me all the reason we’re here

I have my weapon, there is nothing to fear

Memories won’t let you cry

Unless I don’t return tonight

Now I really can’t find happiness

It is lost somewhere along in the bitterness

Did I go wrong and lost my friend?

The only thing that I am trying to defend

Maybe you’re not mine and I won’t be sad

But please and always do remember that,

You have the heart of a pearl,

Be the change you want to see in the world.

-M.S-

CURSE OF FRIENDSHIP

Day by day past away

Not getting better I would say

As time slowly goes by

Everything seems to be a lie.

It’s hard to define my feelings

Inside my heart is loudly screaming

I won’t and never question why

Because a part of me had die

Insecure, depression, aggression,

Contain them through my passion

Another knock by the door,

Seriously, I can’t take this anymore.

Slowly I’ve tried to understand this

But certain things that I can’t release

Hide my feelings to satisfy others

Because I treated them like my brothers

When things suddenly gets worst

All I expect is the support from others

A knife in the back really kills

Rather commit suicide with some pills

To bear the thought of getting stab in the back

Never occur my brothers would do that

I've trusted them with my full heart

After all we've been through, this is what I get.

Music calms me down lately

To contain my emotions that is very deadly

Isolate my emotions and feelings aside

In order to have respect and keep my pride

It really hurts when the closest person stabs you

But that is life and still has to continue

I've accept the things that he has done

Hide my feelings until it’s gone

The thing I learn in life is to have respect

In friendship, have respect and no regret

That is what makes the relationship happy

Never spoil it with the presence of a third party

It is not the first time you've done that to me

Don’t spoil our relationship in this way that I see

Maybe you would say it’s very stupid to think that way

Think back; think hard or I’ll walk away

Try to think straight and move on

But I can’t because I’m worried about our bond

Never break our bonding with a third party

You’ll regret it and won’t be happy

In time, I need some time alone

I’ll be away and you won’t notice I’m gone

Seriously, I’m sad it turns out this way

Forgive me that I have to walk away

Loneliness is a curse for me

Nevertheless I’m trying to find who I would be

In God I would seek my inner peace

Until all of my stress are released

I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed

Just because of your attitude that you have pointed

Don’t care to ask or apologize to me

Because forgiveness it’s not from me but from you it will be

The point is that I really need my inner peace

I thought you can help me at least

I was wrong and expect to high

And now my feelings just die

In stress and depression I hide myself

The only thing I've felt is pain

But one thing for sure to remind myself

There’s always rainbow after the heavy rain

-M.S-

IF I DIED TOMORROW

If I died tomorrow,

Would you even care?

Would you miss the way I smile?

Or the smell of my hair?

If I died tomorrow,

Would you really miss me?

Would you miss the time we talked?

Or every time you kissed me?

If I died tomorrow,

Would you be to blame?

Would you come to the funeral?

And hang your head in shame?

If I died tomorrow,

Is there anything you want to say?

Maybe that you love me?

And want me to stay?

If I died tomorrow. :’)

-M.S-

23rd DECEMBER 2011

This is the date for my biggest day.

My operation day and my very own birthday,

Can I make my very own way?

The answer is definitely today.

I’m well prepared for the operation.

It is really not my decision.

I have to put negative thoughts aside especially depression.

I have to because I seriously can’t accept this rejection.

After 3 hours, everything is done.

And I am still my parent’s son.

The thing that kept me going is my love ones.

I just hope that they won’t run.

Celebrating my 19^th birthday in this situation was never as planned.

All I need is a helping hand.

And not to be left drowning in the sand,

It’s all luck with my white jersey lucky number ten.

Birthday or another day seems similar to me.

It is never been special as it can be.

I always know and always see.

Feels like being left alone in the middle of the sea.

Feelings of my own are something that I can’t deal.

It is not a lie and this is all real.

Because I am the only person who knows how I feel.

Anyway I just want to end this and wish “Happy Birthday Micheal Scofield”.  :’)

23/12/1992 – 23/12/2011 (19 YEARS AND STILL COUNTING)

* Happy birthday bro. takecare. Make sure you succeed in life and never let people pull you down. I know you’re on your own in this world. Always have faith in yourself. Be the change you want to see in the world.

-M.S-

CRITICAL MOMENT

It is matter of time for me to know the result.

It is very hard for me to receive an insult.

I really have no one to consult.

It has always been my fault.

To manage things now is really hard for me.

To fake a smile every day I can be.

The happiness in my life just fades away.

Just to think how to survive another day.

My family is falling apart.

My hands are frozen and I just stood by.

I have lost my heart.

Should I care? Why should i?

I’m not strong enough for all this.

Tomorrow is just a gift from Allah for me to strive.

Counting days is my own way to find peace.

Every minute I’m trying to survive.

Things are getting worse and way out of my hand.

I don’t know how much time I could stand.

I am just trying to find the perfect land.

For all this to just ends.

Now is just matter of time and there I stand.

Support from my love ones, I would like to see.

And there she appear and lend me a helping hand.

Although I thought she’s the last person to help me.

I need strength in order to succeed.

I also need a plan in order to proceed.

I need answers for all this.

God please help me, please.

I will always have faith in my intuition.

I will also have faith in all of my decisions.

I need to be strong to survive.

And I know I should strive.

-M.S-