Friday, 23 December 2011

23rd DECEMBER 2011

This is the date for my biggest day.
My operation day and my very own birthday,
Can I make my very own way?
The answer is definitely today.

I’m well prepared for the operation.
It is really not my decision.
I have to put negative thoughts aside especially depression.
I have to because I seriously can’t accept this rejection.

After 3 hours, everything is done.
And I am still my parent’s son.
The thing that kept me going is my love ones.
I just hope that they won’t run.

Celebrating my 19th birthday in this situation was never as planned.
All I need is a helping hand.
And not to be left drowning in the sand,
It’s all luck with my white jersey lucky number ten.

Birthday or another day seems similar to me.
It is never been special as it can be.
I always know and always see.
Feels like being left alone in the middle of the sea.

Feelings of my own are something that I can’t deal.
It is not a lie and this is all real.
Because I am the only person who knows how I feel.
Anyway I just want to end this and wish “Happy Birthday Micheal Scofield”.  :’)

23/12/1992 – 23/12/2011 (19 YEARS AND STILL COUNTING)
* Happy birthday bro. takecare. Make sure you succeed in life and never let people pull you down. I know you’re on your own in this world. Always have faith in yourself. Be the change you want to see in the world.


Monday, 12 December 2011


It is matter of time for me to know the result.
It is very hard for me to receive an insult.
I really have no one to consult.
It has always been my fault.

To manage things now is really hard for me.
To fake a smile every day I can be.
The happiness in my life just fades away.
Just to think how to survive another day.

My family is falling apart.
My hands are frozen and I just stood by.
I have lost my heart.
Should I care? Why should i?

I’m not strong enough for all this.
Tomorrow is just a gift from Allah for me to strive.
Counting days is my own way to find peace.
Every minute I’m trying to survive.

Things are getting worse and way out of my hand.
I don’t know how much time I could stand.
I am just trying to find the perfect land.
For all this to just ends.

Now is just matter of time and there I stand.
Support from my love ones, I would like to see.
And there she appear and lend me a helping hand.
Although I thought she’s the last person to help me.

I need strength in order to succeed.
I also need a plan in order to proceed.
I need answers for all this.
God please help me, please.

I will always have faith in my intuition.
I will also have faith in all of my decisions.
I need to be strong to survive.
And I know I should strive.


Friday, 2 December 2011


It has been 4 years and it feels so long.
Our friendship is always strong.
I remember the first time I spoke to her.
She scolds me because I make fun of her.

Time passes by and still getting faster.
She treats me like her own brother.
I couldn’t forget how she scolds me because I make fun of the teacher.
She seriously sounded like my mother.

I really thankful to have a caring friend like you,
A great friend, sister, “mother” and I love you.
On this very beautiful and lovely Saturday,
I just want to wish you HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


*dah tua dah pon you. HAHA. Have a great day and enjoy your bday sue.
Happy bday sue sue!! <3
(rifdirazmi) ;)



A word that show weakness,
A word that can make us lifeless.

Fear to lose friends,
Fear to survive,
Fear to strive,
Fear to love,
Fear to be heart broken,
Fear to trust.

A lot of things that we fear,
But does it occur in our mind to be courage.
It is not wrong to be fear.
But in fear comes courage.

A word that shows bravery,
It will not make us slavery,
It makes us fearless,
It also won’t make you lifeless.

Never fear for anything,
Never back down,
Never feel lifeless,
Never feel heartless,
Never stop to strive,
Never stop to survive.

With courage we will never feel fear.
Always fight fear that we hear.
Never afraid to be fear and rage,
Because in fear there will always courage.


Thursday, 1 December 2011


In everybody’s life, there is a special person.
A person that care for you with so many reason,
A person that will always keep you out from sorrow,
And a person which is worth fighting for.

A person that;
Trust you,
Care for you,
Loves you,
Would do anything for you,
Never put you down,
Cheer you up,
Motivates you,
Support you,
And would even die for you.

A person that we should respect,
Because this is a person that is hard to get,
A person that can never be replace,
And for a thousand years, you can’t and won’t forget this person’s face.

Sometimes you feel very annoy,
And you think this person treats you like a baby boy.
Every word this person says is just only for your own good,
Take it positively and don’t make this person like a wood.

We have a thousand reasons to love this person.
But this person loves you for only one reason.
You must be wonder who might be the person and I would say “it is HER”.
Your one and only mother. 

I LOVE YOU MOTHER (N.D)         :’)



A dark secret I keep to myself for 7 years.
A secret I wish no one could hear.
But it is hard for me to keep by myself.
For 7 years I hold it and enough is enough.

In those dark times, I can feel the heavy burden.
A burden that I took with no reason,
It is my responsibility to my family.
Just to make sure that they will always happy.

All of my problems always pull me down.
A dark secret that sure to make me drown,
These problems make me lose a lot of friends which I love,
And not to forget a special person that I love.

People around me don’t believe all of my problems.
It is never in my thoughts that I would blame them.
For them, it is too young for me to face it and try.
For 7 years I face and that is a fact I couldn’t lie.

I sacrifice a lot to help my family.
It is my pride and not to forget my dignity.
When I sit alone and thinking, tears just fell.
I’m not strong enough to tell.

Just a little bit of my dark secret that I hold.
A secret that I would like to fold,
I tried so hard to explain and it is like drowning in the sand.
I won’t try harder because I know people won’t understand.